Lying in a hospital bed in New Jersey's Hackensack Hospital in
1975, Carole Fletcher looked to her mother and whispered," I
didn't die, but I should have."
Later that day a team of nurses cleaned the burn wounds that
covered 65 percent of her body with warm water and Betadine
iodine. The 28-year-old, brown-haired beauty who had a zest
for life and fast cars would scream out, as tears poured down
her face, "I wanna die! Please, just let me die!"
The day before - a wet and dreary Nov. 22, 1975 - the young,
single teacher had suffered second-and third-degree burns
after a freak gasoline explosion turned her body into a human
torch. While in the basement of her New Jersey home cleaning
the dismantled engine parts from her '53 Porsche Super Coupe
she was helping to restore, fumes from the gasoline ignited
the pilot light from the hot water heater. (On the advice of
her mechanic friend, she used gasoline to clean the parts. She
would realize later he should have suggested kerosene, but he
presumed she'd be working outside.)
"My life took a turn in a millisecond. They told my parents
that I had a one-in-10 chance of living with that many burns,"
said Fletcher, sitting outside at her 10-acre Singin' Saddles
Ranch near Reddick dressed in western wear. "Then they told
them because my legs were burned so badly that I most likely
would never walk again . . . I was in the hospital for seven
months. I didn't know whether I wanted to live. I sunk into a
hole . . . The old me was gone forever."
Disabled, disfigured and in despair, Fletcher's mother tried
to boost her daughter's spirits with a picture of Fletcher's
horse, Bailey, with the inspiring words, "He will carry you,"
written underneath it. Named for the Irish cream color of his
coat, the palomino quarter horse was her first.
"It really saved my life," she said of the photo. "It gave me
the hope that that would be at least the one thing I could do
that would be some part of my old life. I stared at that
picture day and night."
It worked. And in Fletcher's new book, "Healed by Horses: A
Memoir," the trick horse trainer and performer who has lived
in Marion County for eight years chronicles her journey of
recovery, the healing power of horses and her close-knit bond
with two very special ones that gave her the strength to move
on and the hope and will to live life again. Atria Books, a
division of Simon & Schuster, released the book last month.
"This book has been eight years in the making," said Fletcher,
who just wrapped up book signings in Lexington, Ky.,
Louisville, Ky., and Nashville, Tenn.
Lawrence Scanlan, a known author who worked closely with Monty
Roberts on their best-seller, "The Man Who Listens to Horses,"
wrote the book's introduction and epilogue. And the cover
photo is by Ocala equine artist Sherry Barker, and centerfold
photos by Ocala equine photographer Michelle Younghans.
After years of treatments, skin grafts and reconstructive
surgeries (38 in all), the 58-year-old said it was the horses
in her life that physically and emotionally helped her restart
her life. In the beginning, when the stares and whispers of
strangers fostered her beliefs that she was a "freak," she
secluded herself and found solace in Bailey.
"The horse didn't care," she said. "The horse was the only one
who accepted me, really, unconditionally. He became my best
friend, my best buddy and my confidant. I'd cry into his mane
and tell him things I was feeling."
At age 29, Fletcher walked out of Hackensack with the help of
a walker. She would have reconstruction surgery to rebuild her
left leg and undergo eight operations on her left hand. "I
hated going to the hospital for physical therapy, so I found
my own therapy; the guitar for my hand and for my legs, my
horse," she said, rubbing her fingers now in a permanently
bent position.
Pretty soon, Fletcher was riding again. She said the physical
elements associated with riding and carrying for a horse, like
carrying buckets of feed and hay, brushing and grooming,
cleaning out stalls, helped her regain her strength.
"At the beginning, it was painful, but it was also fun. I
couldn't wait to get to the barn," said Fletcher, who's
written several horse training books. "This horse was the
perfect horse for me because he was what's called a
babysitter. He had a little age on him and he was a sensitive
horse that just knew he was carrying frail baggage. He was
just the ticket. Just what the doctor ordered . . . He not
only restored my legs, but he brought my spirit back."
According to the Marion Therapeutic Riding Association Inc.,
the rhythmic and gentle motion of the horse acts as powerful,
unparalleled physical therapy. Improved strength,
coordination, flexibility, and balance are documented benefits
of therapeutic riding and driving.
When Fletcher decided to move to New Hampshire for a teaching
job, she said good-bye to Bailey. She thought it would be best
to leave the aging horse where he was and sold him to a friend
who had a little girl. Bailey would be perfect for her, she
thought.
Then she met her second hoofed savior: a blue-eyed, chestnut
and white Pinto gelding named Dial.
She said she had instant chemistry with Dial. During this time
she also met her husband, Gary, a logger and carpenter. She
began training Dial and noticed he had a knack for learning
and performing tricks. She decided to stop teaching, build a
ranch and make horses a full-time business, giving riding
lessons and teaching riding for the disabled.
Friends encouraged her to take Dial the Trickster out on the
road to show off his talents and skills. Although still facing
insecurities about her appearance, she decided to do it - thus
opening the door to her longtime career as a trick horse
trainer and performer.
Since the '80s, Fletcher had been coming to Marion County on
horse buying trips and made the move to "Horse Country" in
1997. However, just before the trek from New Hampshire to the
Sunshine State, Dial died.
"I had always hoped that he'd retire down here in Florida. I
grieved over him like you would for your own child," she said.
"I started really thinking about what he did for me in my life
and started writing."
In "Healed by Horses," Fletcher said writing the book was both
"gut-wrenching" and "a healing experience." She will never
have the life she once had, but a lively, fun-loving woman was
able to emerge from the ashes. She said she hopes her story
can help others facing adversity and make people understand
the meaning of true beauty and the power of animals.
"I think people can look to their animals for help in healing
because they don't judge you," said Fletcher, who has several
pets. "They just love you for how you treat them. You can have
no better friend."
Contact Lashonda Stinson at
lashonda.stinson@starbanner.com or 867-4129.
Author says horses physically, emotionally helped restart her
life
Carole Fletcher will have a book signing at 2 p.m., Saturday,
June 4 at Barnes and Noble, 3500 College Rd.
Can you use this as a pull out quote?
That was the last thing I remember before blue flames streaked
across the floor and turned my kneeling form into a human
torch. I remember a loud whoooomp, followed by unbearable heat
and light. Still kneeling, the position of prayer, I threw one
hand up over my eyes to shield against the brightness and with
the other tried desperately to put out the flames. Pain hit me
like a train, and my entire body reeled in agony from the
heat. I tried to scream, but no sound would come.
-From the 'Blue Flame' chapter of "Healed by Horses: A Memoir"
